Bee Empowered, Inc. -- Life Coaching/Consulting for Adults

Many people are stuck in their head.  Yes, even I get stuck in my head from time to time.  Of course, I say it's an occupational hazard because I'm a writer!  Practice the art of being in the moment; it will do wonders for you!

Letting go is not easy for most people.  Giving up control is never easy because you don't know what will happen.  Many people feel if they control their life it will be a smooth ride.  This is not true.  In fact, you could make it worse. 

Have you ever heard the saying "go with the flow?"  You can flow in your life and free yourself from struggle.  Going against the current of life is not easy.  You're swimming upstream and soon you will tire.  Make the decision to let go, allow the current of life to carry you from stop to stop.  Your life will be more enjoyable if you do this.

It's scary to let go and be in the moment because of the fear of the unknown.  Take a deep breath and let go.  What could happen?  You could release the bonds that are keeping you tied up in your life.  It's the best gift you could give to you!

Dr. Wayne Dyer made a poignant film called The Shift.  The film follows a couple of people who are struggling in their life.  Eventually, these people make a shift in their life for the better.  This is a great lesson to be learned.

Shifting your mind set may not be easy if you keep experiencing obstacle after obstacle.  You could stop and analyze the situations or patterns that keep appearing in your life.  This doesn't mean you obsess about them.  Look at them to find out why they keep appearing in your life.  The answers may surprise you.

Have you ever heard people say "be happy no matter what?"  You have a choice to be happy or miserable.  Your life may not be what you'd envision it would be.  You have the choice to shift your perspective and be grateful for what you have.  You probably have more than most people in the world.

Making a shift in your perspective is the best way to shift your life.  Can you be certain that people are unfriendly where you live?  Do you focus on that each day?  What words do you speak each day?  Here's a test for you:  if you feel, for example, that people are not friendly where you live, listen to the words that come out your mouth.  Are you affirming that people are unfriendly?  You may be surprised at what comes out of your mouth. 

You have the power to shift your mind set.  It's up to you whether you live a happy or sad life.  Shifting your perspective each day will help you shift your life.  Give it a try; you'll be amazed how your life seems to open up overnight!

Many people live in the past.  They stay in their heads and revisit the past over and over again.  It's like watching a bad movie!  Get out of your head and live in the present.  Today is what you have, yesterday is gone!

When you live in the past, you neglect and miss your present.  You can't go back and change the past -- it's already done.  You may ponder past situations and how you could have handled them which could help you grow as a person.  This can be productive, but don't stay in the past too long.

You can't really change the past.  Some people (intuitives) believe you can go back to the past in your mind and rework a situation that is best suited for you.   For example, if you were raised in a dysfunctional family, you could "dream up" a new scenario with loving, caring, and nurturing parents.  Who's to say if this works, but it could make you realize that your parents did the best they could.  Parents raise their kids based on how they were raised.  It's a cyclical effect.

Tips to staying present

• Focus on your surroundings.  What do you see?  What is in front of you?  Do this exercise throughout the day and you'll become more focused on the present.
  
• Be present when you're taking a shower.  Feel the water hit your body and massage the shampoo in your hair.  Be totally present to the experience.
• Think about your day and what you'd like to experience.  Tell yourself that you're going to have a great day and expect to have a great day.  You have control over your emotions.  When someone cuts you off in traffic, bless them and drive off.  They'll end up getting caught for speeding.
  
• Enjoy the sunshine!  If you're in an area where it's snowing like crazy, step back and enjoy it.  Winter will soon transform into spring.  Enjoy the winter activities while you can.
• Create a gratitude journal.  What are you grateful for?  Each day take time to focus on the blessings you received during the day.  It will help you to be present in your life.
  

Step out of your history and into the present.  Many people allow life to pass them by because they're stuck in the past.  Before you know it, you're 85 years-old wondering where your life went.  How sad is this?  You can avoid this by being present in your life every day.

Being present will help you heal the past and create your future.  Stay present in your life and enjoy the ride not matter how bumpy it is.  This is easier said than done, but if you "bless your mess" as Sonia Choquette says you'll be free to enjoy your life and be happy no matter what!

All of us were born into a family.  Unfortunately, they may not be apart of your tribe.  They may simply be teachers for you in this lifetime.  This is why there are many dysfunctional people in the world!

Your family members are not the only people on planet Earth.  Your tribe could be in another state or country!  This doesn't mean you love your family any less, but you;d be wise to limit the time you spend with dysfunctional and negative people. Remember, you usually become like the people you hang around with on a daily basis.

Stop explaining yourself to others

When you have a yearning for change, the people in your life may not understand why.  This is all right.  You don't have to explain yourself.  All you have to do is say that you're following your guidance or intuition.  Don't go into a lengthy explanation because you'll be wasting time and oxygen.  Most people fear change and would "freak out" if they were force to move to another city, state, or country.

The people in your life may not agree with your decision to move.  In fact, they're probably secretly envious of you because they don't have the courage to pick up and leave.  When they see you move forward in your life, you could become an inspiration to them.

Thought:  Illness begins as a seed in the mind then manifests in the body as a disease.  Science is now proving that our thoughts do shape our life and outlook.  There are other factors involved, but we think can hinder or help us in life.

Find your tribe

It will take courage to move away from your family and friends, but if you want to find your tribe you may have to do this.  If you're surrounded by negativity, it will consume you.  Limit your time with negative people.  It will do you mind and body good.

Traveling to other cities or countries can help you to find your tribe.  You may find your tribe in your own backyard!  Sometimes you don't have to travel far to find what you're looking for.  Getting out of your comfort zone is not easy, but it can help you discover what you do and don't want in your life. 

When you decide to move away, some family members and friends may shun you or believe that you're making the wrong decision.  Avoid second guessing yourself.  You must do what's best for you.  It's not their life, it's your life!

You may be the center of your own drama and not even know it!  Your conscious mind may recognize that you're causing unhealthy situations in your life, but the powerful subconscious mind will disagree.

Many people often wonder why they have "such drama" in their life.  Here's a tip:  take a look in the mirror to find the answers.  This may sounds harsh, but it's true.  You are responsible for your life.  No one can make you feel the way you feel or speak the words that come out of your mouth.  It's all you.

The choices you make are yours.  When you hear a small, faint voice say, "...this job is not for you, the guy you're seeing is not right for you, or it's time to move on from your current location."  But, people ignore this small voice because of fear.  When they ignore it all holy hell breaks loose in their life and they wonder "why me?" 

Take a bow every time drama occurs in your life.  You have a choice on how you react to situations and people.  Instead of getting mad at the driver who cut you off, thank God he's two cars in front of you and not behind you.  The next time a boss takes credit for your work, secretly say to yourself, "...you're welcome and now it's time for me to move on from this organization."  When you leave, how will your boss cope?  You and your ideas will leave the company.  The "powers that be" will soon figure out your boss didn't come up with those brilliant ideas. 

Being the center of your own drama can take a toll on your health.  Is it worth it if you're sick all of the time?  What about missing out on activities?  If you let your emotions rule you, drama will persist in your life.  Remember, what you resist persists.

Decide that today will be your last dramatic performance in your life.  Step out of your old story and into the present.  Learn to just be:  be still, be quiet, be present, and be patient.  Your life will unfold easily if you allow it.

Many people are haunted by their mistakes.  They dwell on circumstances that occurred five or more years ago and can't live in the now.  It will behoove you to stop beating yourself up over mistakes that occurred many years ago.  You can't go back in time and change your decisions.  Move forward with your life today and live in the present moment.

Being haunted by your mistakes is no way to live.  People constantly relive their decisions in their head.  They go over scenarios until their minds are exhausted.  This is not serving you or your fellow man.  Learn from your mistakes and move forward in your life.

People often create and live in personal hells.  They imprison themselves by rehashing the mistakes they made in their life.  They analyze their mistakes until they can't think anymore.  They have a dialogue in their mind that goes something like this, "...if I only did this or that, my situation would be better.  Why did I move?  Why did I take that job?  Why didn't I take that job?"  This will not get you anywhere in life.  You'll be trapped within the walls of your mind with no end in sight.

Focusing on your past mistakes will not change them, what's done is done.  It's time to stop brooding about what happened yesterday or a few months ago.  The good news is that you can learn from your mistakes and see what patterns you repeated.  This is a great opportunity to be more conscious of your decisions.  Take more time to think about your actions and the consequences they may have on your life.  Also, listen to your "gut" and follow through.  Remember if it's not a definite "yes" then it's a "no!"

You can stop being haunted by your past mistakes today and begin to live a fulfilled life.  Everyone makes decisions they wish they'd never had -- that's life!  Learn to move past the not so great moments because life is too short to keep dwelling on something you did 10 years ago!

When you begin a journey of transformation, you will not be the same person you were five or more years ago.  Of course, family members may not believe that you changed and that's all right.  They do not have to validate you because you validate yourself! 

What happens when you go back home?  You're not the same person who used to get "plugged into" family drama.  In fact, you may excuse yourself from the drama and go for a half hour walk!

Making the decision to transform your life and change as a person can scare family and friends.  They're probably not ready to change; it's their decision.  You can still have a good time with them; you'll just be detached from the emotions that may be flying high.  This is a good indication on how far you've come in your life.

Tips for Surviving Family Visits

1.  Take a deep breath.  Family usually wants the best for you -- they just show it in peculiar ways.  When you are bombarded with questions like "Why are you still single?" give an honest answer.  You could say that you're focusing on you.  Tell family members you're taking time to get to know you because you desire to enter into a genuine, emotional relationship, unlike other family members who got married because they didn't want to be alone and now are divorced.  I wouldn't mention the part about family members being divorced.  You can think that to yourself!

2.  Excuse yourself from the drama.  There's nothing like getting some fresh air or locking yourself in the bathroom that can help you make it through a family visit.  You don't have to subject yourself to unnecessary drama. 

3.  Visualize yourself having a pleasant family visit.  Remember, what you feel and think will eventually manifest.  You may as well manifest a quiet and peaceful family visit.  Say a little prayer before you go back home and ask for divine guidance.  You'll be surprised how well this works.

4.  Let people be who they are.  Hey!  No one likes it when others try to change or fix them, not even you.  People are free to be who they are -- remember that the next time you go home.

Many people stay stuck in their lives and can't seem to move forward or they have no desire to do so.  It's their decision so respect it.  However, you can keep moving forward on your path.  If family and friends give you grief about it -- shake it off and move on with your life.  You may choose to cut back on the amount of visits home or release people from your life.  Do what's best for you, but do it so others retain their dignity.  Remember, you were once where they were and you can easily fall back into old habits if you are not diligent.

Who wants to know if they really changed?  Booking a flight or planning a drive back home is the ultimate test.  If you can survive a family reunion, wedding, anniversary, or holiday -- you know the work you've done has paid off!

  Life is like an echo -- what you say comes back to you!  If you keep saying or affirming, "...I'm not worthy, I'll never get out of debt, It's hopeless, or I'll never get married," your words will come back to you.  Focus your mind on positive, healthy words instead of negative ones.

Most people are aware of the Law of Attraction.  The basic premise is that your thoughts and words create or co-create your life.  It makes sense that you'd want to watch your words.  People focus on negativity and create more negative experiences in their life.  Focus on positive thoughts and words.  This way you'll shift your energy.

Monitoring your thoughts and the words you speak is easy once you get into of the habit of doing it.  When you were a kid, your mom or dad taught you how to brush your teeth.  Once you learned how to do it, you brushed your teeth everyday and continue to do so as an adult.  It's the same thing with watching your thoughts and words.  You'll begin to notice the negative thoughts from the positive ones.  This is a great way to get to the root cause of the words you speak and the thoughts your think. 

Speaking and thinking negatively can be detrimental to your life.  In fact, you could be repeating patterns that you're mimicking from your childhood.  Look at your life and examine it.  How is your health?  How is your financial health?  What types of people are in your life?  Are they positive or constant complainers?  How much do you like your career?  Are you happy to go to work or loathe getting out of bed?  Assessing your life will help you to see where a shift needs to be made in order for you to have a fulfilling, healthy life.

The next time you catch yourself speaking words of defeat, take them back.  Challenge yourself to speak words of abundance instead of lack.  Speak words of kindness instead of hate.  Your words will be echoed back to you and affect your life.  You may as well use words that will improve your life instead of ones that will sabotage it.

The phrase "educated poor people" is an oxymoron.   What does it mean?  It means you have one or more degrees and are not financially free.  Many adult children of alcoholics hold various degrees because they wanted to prove to their families they are not them.  Unfortunately, if you don't change your mindset, you'll be just like them -- poor as hell!

Many people in the U.S. can be classified as educated poor people.  They have business, law, medical, creative, and other types of degrees.  They're still working a 9 to 5 job with mountains of debt and nothing to show for it.  Why is this?  You would think a person with multiple degrees would be financially set.  This is a myth.  If you're mind set is still on the "lack channel," that is exactly what you'll experience over and over again in your life.

Remember, money is the number one reason why marriages breakup.  There's too much stress around finances.  Couples fight about how much money is spent, how to spend the money, where to place the money, and how to get more of it.  This is enough to drive anyone whacky!

Tips and Tricks

1.  Delete all of your old beliefs around money.  Find out where your feeling of lack is coming from within you.  Create and say affirmations that will help you change your mind set.  Really feel how it would be to make a yearly income of $250,000.  Ask yourself "why" you want to earn a specific amount of income.  If it's for the money alone, you will not receive abundance.
2.  Surround yourself with people who are financially free and copy what they do.
3.  Stop listening and taking advice from your "poor" family and friends; find some new friends. 
4.  Take classes, workshop,s and read books on how to free yourself from a lack mentality.
5.  Broaden your horizons and travel to an area of town to see how the other half lives.  Visualize how yourself driving a certain car or living in a 4,000 square foot home.  Visualize yourself writing checks to your favorite charities.  Savor every minute of your visualizations until they are planted in your mind!
6.  Splurge on an expensive meal so you can "feel" what it's like to eat a delectable meal.  You can split a meal if this makes you more comfortable.

You can stop being an educated poor person by getting to the "root" cause of your feeling of lack.  That's what it is.  If you feel unworthy or there is not enough, you will create more of the same.  If you always say, "...I need money for this or that," you will create situations in your life where you will need money.  

Being an educated poor person sucks!  There's no reason any of us should be going without on a daily basis.  In order to fix this, go within to find out what is causing the lack in your life.  You'll probably find something that goes back to your childhood.  Many parents say phrases such as, "...We need money, Money is the root of all evil, It's not right to be rich, All rich people are greedy," and other phrases.  It's up to you to delete and permanently erase these beliefs from your mind.  If you don't, you'll still be financially and emotionally strapped in your life.

If you're an educated poor person, make the decision to stop being one.  You can find support within your community or online.  Get together with like minded individuals who are serious about changing their lives.  Kick your "educated poor person" persona to the curb and allow an abundant persona to enter your life!

Whenever you're around negative people, it's as if you can't breathe.  What if these people are family and friends?  What if they're passengers on an airplane you're about the board?  Never fear, the antidote is here for negative people!

Recently, I traveled to Ohio to visit my family and celebrate New Year's Eve.  The flight from Phoenix to Cleveland was smooth, seamless, and pleasant.  Passengers and flight crew were polite and courteous.  The Captain on our Continental flight even said, "good morning" to me.  I was taken aback.  It was a great flight and visit to Ohio. 

My return flight was a different story.  There was a guy complaining about how his flight was canceled and he had to stay over at a hotel.  He kept going on and on about what happened to him.  I began to see a "cloud of negativity" form all around him.  I was hoping he was getting on the flight to Fort Lauderdale, FL.  Unfortunately, he was waiting for the flight to Phoenix. 

Tips and Tricks

1.  Send "negative" people lots of peace and love.
2.  Count to 10.
3.  Take 10 deeps breaths.
4.  Visualize yourself in your "happy" place.
5.  Realize that this too shall pass.

The airline staff in Cleveland, OH was not pleasant.  One woman wore a scowl on her face that sent shivers down my spine.  Mind you, I was already cold because it was snowing and the wind was blowing! 

Our flight arrived ahead of time which was fantastic.  The gate number changed, but it was no big deal to me.  However, other passengers were upset about it.  The gate was supposed to be C05, it changed to C07 which was next to C05.  It really was not a big deal.

The time came for use to board the plane.  This is where the fun began.  People were lining up, even though their row was not called.  The woman on the speaker was agitated and reminded people to remain seated until their row was called.  Some people don't know how to travel or pack.  They bring two carry-on bags with them; you're allowed only one and a small personal item such as a purse, book, small backpack, etc...People were lined up, waiting to get onto the plane.  This aggravated the woman even more.  Plus, it was damn cold standing and waiting to get onto the plane.

I felt bad for the airline worker, but I said to myself, "I have the antidote for negative people; I'll mentally send them all lots of love and peace."  And, that's what I did.  It wasn't worth it to me to get upset about the guy who was complaining or the crabby workers.  My antidote worked!.  I boarded the plane, was close to first class, enjoyed the movie Cloudy with a Side of Meatballs, and had a smooth and seamless flight!

The next time you're around negative people, remember to use the antidote which is to "mentally" send them peace and love.  You'll be amazed at the results.  It works!  Do not allow other people to dictate how you'll feel.  You have control over your emotions.  Good luck!